On my way to night school I called Natalie and informed her that Allison Weiss was having a show in the city and i kinda half jokingly half not jokingly said we should just go.
We were totally set on actually going until we found out that the effing show is 21+. WTF, YOU GUYS I JUST WANTED TO FUCKING SEE SOME LIVE FUCKING MUSIC.
I havn’t seen a fucking show in like months. A lot of months. It’s seriously been a really- oh wait…ok since March. But besides britney, it’s been MONTHS. And today ( a few minutes ago) i tried to be cool and spontaneous and decided i would just pick up and go see Allison Weiss tonight at Rockwood Music Hall with Carolyn and have a good old time. And then i got really excited for it and decided i was deffinitely going.
But of course. The venue is 21+. I’m really upset now because this always happens. This is why i havn’t seen a show in so long. It’s because everyone i listen to is an alcoholic bitch and only plays in venues where they serve shit loads of alcohol. Which i would not mind AT ALL if I were allowed in.
So in conclusion, i’ll be staying at home tonight. Allison Weiss, if your reading this, i’m very disappointed in your venue for having age restrictions. Aj, if your reading this, tell your sister how disappointed I am. :( I’ll just go take another nap i guess.
(i’m sorry i called everyone an alcoholic bitch…you’re not alcoholic bitches, you’re just bitches.)
But I really shouldn’t be.
Yesterday I managed to ruin Kendra’s life by spilling pink lemonade all over her Yale papers and then dragging her to the mall where she then lost her purse.
which contained the following:
2. Debit Card
5. Cell Phone
6. House Keys
So, basically her indentity, and it looks like she wont be getting it back. :(
On the up side, I watched like 5 hours of Weeds last night and was reminded of how fucking fantastic that show is. And also how stressful season 3 is! Nancy baby :(
Alright I’m going to go back to sleep :)
now someone makeout with me
I saw the most interesting movie at The Tribecca Film Festival today. It left a strange impression on me. My like outlook on life has really changed for some reason because of it. But i know that when i tell you what it was your going to laugh and think I’m joking but I’m not. It was called “Partly Private” and it was a documentary on this couples decision on whether or not to circumcise their two sons. It was VERY FUNNY and so odd but at the same time it was very meaningful. I learned a lot but I think I’m definitely leaning more towards anti-circumcision. But anyway, it gave me a new reason to hate conformity and organized religion.
So I guess the point of this post is, I’m still a libral and annoying bitch.
Jon Barker nothing rhymes with Barker except for “Darker” and magic “marker” thanks for the poem my friends, i showed um carolyn is stupid
- Marisa: Leave me the fuck alone to eat my brown apples, ok? just leave me alone
- Carolyn: Good God.
We had a good run but, it’s time to move on. Although i must admit, i did get choked up walking out tonight. I appreciate the fact that you played tegan and sara for me one last time. And it was perfect too, the time was 8:06, and i was on my last customer and “Call it off” played. Almost too perfect. I smiled and sang quietly to myself as i paper and plastic’d the last douchebag customer. Shut out my light and went to count my register. Then Missy wished me luck in life, for bigger and better things “better than keyfood”. And we talked about things and she made me really sad. And as i walked out i felt a lump in my throat, a large one. And i laughed and tried to hide it, but then my eyes teared a little. I sat in my car and yelled at myself for being a sensitive little fucker, then took one last look, and drove away.
fuck you keyfood, who the fuck do you think you are anyway? :’(
Today was ordinary, a typical day
Until I arrived at the supermarkay
Pulled in the lot, and I saw my mother
She didn’t see me, or didn’t know I was her daughter
Walked through the door, and I saw you bagging
You looked very solomn, my tail started wagging?
You coughed a few times, thanks to your influenza
I rushed to the fruit section, and almost knocked over nick semenza
I looked through the fruits, and picked out a few
then walked to your line, and stayed out of view
I waited and waited, till no one was there
then popped up and saw you, and gave you a scare
you gasped and you smiled and looked a bit red
and I grinned and I laughed and just nodded my head
i left your register but didn’t go far
you kept turning around with your mouth all ajar
i tried to help kelly get the spike out of her skin
but all i could do was just watch you and grin
i waved as i left and kelly called me a dork
then we got in the car and i picked up a fork
we ate all the fruit, and most of it was crap
then you texted me and said “i miss you come back!”
ok that was paraphrazed, but it was close anyhow
this sounds like we’re dating, it’s kinda gay WOW
but today you’re upset, and feel like shit
cause you can’t be in WISE, or your internship
but please don’t be too sad, i wrote you this letter
mrs. coniglio will help you, she’ll make it all better
this isn’t the end, i swear this aint it
i wont let you give up, i wont let you quit
there’s still some hope left, so dont be so down
go watch some buffy and get rid of that frown
i tried to be cute and write you this shit
but whatever i think i sound like a dick
and i cried
i never cried
you make me sick
when you are sad
i get so mad
this poem is bad
and now i’m glad
and i’ll make you some tea
or don’t, that’s fine
don’t drive after 9
oh wait now you can
so never mind then
just don’t be too filled with sorrow
if you read this tonight, i’m driving tomorrow
i know this is awful, but it’s all i’ve got
it’s kind of late, and i’m kind of shot
- (a woman looking around anxiously spots me)
- WOMAN: hey!
- ME: Hi, what's up?
- WOMAN: (mumbles) heyyosuudhsdlfs
- ME: what?
- WOMAN: (wispers) do..you smoke??
- ME: ...what? ...why?
- WOMAN: do you... (wispers) i just need a ciggarette..do you have any?
- ME: oh um,no not on me haha
- WOMAN: AW, CRAP
- ME: hahaha yeah sorry
- WOMAN: GOD DAMNIT I JUST QUIT AND I JUST NEED ONE.
- ME: right right i hear ya.
- WOMAN: Ok sweety thanks anyway
- ME: Yeah, anytime...
- lol. keyfood. you're fucking bootleg...have i mentioned that?
half will tock
Today, everything broke. It was awesome.
A woman wants to use a foodstamp card.
woman: It won’t scan.
me: No problem let me try it. (It works. Declined.)
me: Oh you don’t have any money on this card.
woman: Yes I do.
me: Ok well, you don’t.
woman: Ok let me call someone.
me: Ok sure, April! Wtf is a decline slip?
April: oh just shove anything in there!
April: yeah! Like whatever paper you can find!
woman: yeah i have 46 dollars on that.
me: um, go talk to April.
A woman wants to give me a check.
woman: here’s my liscense.
me: thanks. (puts check in machine. fills out required computer things. gets her cash.)
check machine: error. CODE 4!
Bobby: whasssah a problem i can’t speak english dksdfsdhfksodfkjsdflsfj
me: no i need April.
me: we have a code 4? on this check machine?
April: oh no. (fucks with some buttons)
April: Ok i need to take this to the back room. (I look up and theres a billion people on my line.)
me: Hey guys!
A woman wants to buy a giant bag of dog food.
(she hands me the bag over the register so i can scan it and then give it back so she can shove it under her carriage. The giant bag hits my register and the keyboard flys off the stand. It literrally just pops off.)
woman: omg i’m so sorry!!
me: HAHAHAHA! It’s ok this place is real bootleg.
Kendra tries to work. But fails.
kendra: um, April! My keyboard doesn’t ….work
April: ok, shut the whole computer off and turn it back on. (she does)
kendra: April! What’s the F1 key?
April: just hit enter!
kendra:………ok yeah you should come over here. I’m sorry sir this has happened like three times today.
customer: it’s ok I wont blame you.
April: ok lets see here..it’s not working? hmmm (she fiddles with things)
April: Bobby! Come fix this!
Bobby: hassa it’s ah not workingg slkdfskdghslgkslkdfkdsjf?
April: yeah. (20 minutes later)
April: Ok, Kendra just go to a different register.
I’m almost going to miss this place =)
A pretty eventful day:
I think it’s safe to say that I was way too tired today..
I went to sleep at 3:30AM last night after a long and eventful Saturday and even though I fell asleep in Kendra’s warm and toasty bed I don’t think i got much sleep. I think there’s just something about sleeping in someone else’s home that just makes me unable to stay asleep because when i’m home I can litterally sleep for 14 hours without waking up. In fact if my room didn’t have windows and my house didn’t have people, i doubt I would ever wake up.
Point is I was very tired when I got home today. More tired then I actually realized. I thought “Hey, it aint so bad, I can go to Keyfood today, psht it’s a Sunday I’ll be making time and a half” and then “Zzzzzzzz”. It wasn’t until hours later that my mother came in to try and wake me up for work and I snapped at her. According to her she calmly tried to wake me several times and the conversation kinda went along the lines of:
Mom: Natalie you have to get up for work
Natalie: (eyes closed) okay
Mom: ….(after 30 or so seconds) No like you really need to get up it’s 3:45
Natalie: (eyes closed) ahuh
Mom:….(10 seconds) Natalie like seriously you have to-
Natalie: (eyes still closed) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MA I SAID OKAY
Mom: Oh my god don’t get mad at me! You really need to fucking get up though!
Natalie: (already back asleep)
Mom: ….This is retarted (grabs phone and calls keyfood) Natalie can’t come in today, she is violently ill sorry *click*
When I woke up a little later I felt bad for yelling at my mother. Lol she wasn’t being a bitch at all; I guess I was just incredibly fucking tired.
More proof of the fact that I was tired today is that when i fell asleep durring my keyfood shift I actually dreamt I was high. Which I’m pretty sure is proof that i was tired even while sleeping. When I woke up I was really fucking confused. This is all truth. I swear.
So the gorgeous outdoor weather has been wasted due to my sleep deprivation. But that’s ok. Better it be sleep than keyfood.
It’s gorgeous out.
This is a wonderful weekend.
4. Keep room clean
- Jim: Alright you're taking off?
- Natalie: Yep!
- Jim: Well alright then.
- Natalie: Yeah, See you next Tuesday!
- Natalie: ....shitttt
- Jim: What?
- <Natalie exits>
1. Use tumblr
2. Clean room
3. Quit Keyfood
4. Keep room clean