May 2009
“So, if I was a twin….would you like me or my twin better?”
– Carolyn Scopino
DUMBASS.
hey! foreskin!
I saw the most interesting movie at The Tribecca Film Festival today. It left a strange impression on me. My like outlook on life has really changed for some reason because of it. But i know that when i tell you what it was your going to laugh and think I’m joking but I’m not. It was called “Partly Private” and it was a documentary on this couples decision on whether or...
Jon Barker
Jon Barker
nothing rhymes with Barker
except for “Darker”
and magic “marker”
thanks for the poem
my friends, i showed um
carolyn is stupid
TODAY
Marisa: Leave me the fuck alone to eat my brown apples, ok? just leave me alone
Carolyn: Good God.
Well Keyfood...this is my stop
We had a good run but, it’s time to move on. Although i must admit, i did get choked up walking out tonight. I appreciate the fact that you played tegan and sara for me one last time. And it was perfect too, the time was 8:06, and i was on my last customer and “Call it off” played. Almost too perfect. I smiled and sang quietly to myself as i paper and...
April 2009
Carolyn Scopino
a poem
.
Today was ordinary, a typical day
Until I arrived at the supermarkay
.
Pulled in the lot, and I saw my mother
She didn’t see me, or didn’t know I was her daughter
.
Walked through the door, and I saw you bagging
You looked very solomn, my tail started wagging?
.
You coughed a few times, thanks to your influenza
I rushed to the fruit section, and almost knocked over...
Keyfood Customer of the day
(a woman looking around anxiously spots me)
WOMAN: hey!
ME: Hi, what's up?
WOMAN: (mumbles) heyyosuudhsdlfs
ME: what?
WOMAN: (wispers) do..you smoke??
ME: ...what? ...why?
WOMAN: do you... (wispers) i just need a ciggarette..do you have any?
ME: oh um,no not on me haha
WOMAN: AW, CRAP
ME: hahaha yeah sorry
WOMAN: GOD DAMNIT I JUST QUIT AND I JUST NEED ONE.
ME: right right i hear ya.
WOMAN: Ok sweety thanks anyway
ME: Yeah, anytime...
lol. keyfood. you're fucking bootleg...have i mentioned that?
Listen
“We drove around and i missed her, they missed me on the deck like that, they...”
– half marisa
half will tock
Why Keyfood's a dump -by Natalie Donohue
Today, everything broke. It was awesome.
First:
A woman wants to use a foodstamp card.
me: Cool.
woman: It won’t scan.
me: No problem let me try it. (It works. Declined.)
me: Oh you don’t have any money on this card.
woman: Yes I do.
me: Ok well, you don’t.
woman: Ok let me call someone.
me: Ok sure, April! Wtf is a decline slip?
April:...
BUTCH.
